Happy 6 Months

Dear Holden,


I had a difficult time typing "Happy" on today's blog title.  I thought I would just write "6 Months", since I have not exactly felt happy thinking about your 1/2 year mark in heaven this week.  But then I thought about you sweetheart.   You are happy, sweet son.  You have never been anything but happy.  So I am glad I can wish you a Happy 1/2 Year Birthday tomorrow! 


There has been so much good coming from your life in the last 1/2 year.  I remember the first time someone told me that good things were happening because of you, I was upset.  I wanted to tell that person that I would rather have you HERE with me than any good that they could perceive from you not being here.  But you know what?  Your daddy and I can sit here today and be thankful for the beauty that has come from the worst thing that has ever happened to us.  


Because of your little life, about 36,000 people are given the opportunity to live another healthy day because they can drink clean water.  


I love you.  I can't ever say that enough.  Happy 6 Months in heaven to the little boy we love more than words.  The little boy who has changed our lives.


~Daddy & Mommy

Holden's Auntie Charys made this beautiful card for us.

This week has been really tough for me.  I wish I could say the exact opposite; that I was strong enough to really enjoy the week.  But I just can't.  6 months is such a definitive marker; 1/2 year from when we held our son, and 1/2 a year away from that moment.

Thankfully, I have been given a lot of peace today.  Our God does not make sense, but He does give us the strength to make it through.

Let's see.  My mind is a little numb for the right words, so I'll just list some of the things that have happened over the past 6 months.

• I love God more today than I did 6 months ago.  If you would have asked me on August 27th if I would love God if He were to take my son to heaven, I would likely have said no.  Maybe even heck no.  (That's just the cold, honest truth.)  Yet, He is so merciful to my heart...and has given me more peace, love and blessings than I can write.  He gives me HOPE daily...and renews my strength...every.single.day.

• Chet and I are a different couple.  I am humbled and grateful for it.

• Thousands of people who weren't drinking clean water 6 months ago, are filling their bodies with life-sustaining water.  Really, I don't even know what to say about it all.  I still wake up with the feeling that it is so surreal that we get to be a small part of this giant plan.  It's a privilege I will never take for granted.  

• I have had the amazing opportunity to meet other families who have dealt with the death of a baby, and witness the Lord restoring hope in their lives.   

• I am running.  I know that really isn't big in the scheme of things, but to me it is.  I have NEVER been an athlete or in shape.  As I struggle through each mile, I think about a little chunky-cheeked boy who is really behind all of it.  I would have given up many times, if I did not believe that EVERY single person deserves to drink clean water.  

Tomorrow we are going to release balloons to celebrate.  Celebrate the GLORY that our son is experiencing.  Celebrate the GOOD that He is doing.

It is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.  Philippians 2:13