Monday, May 9, 2011

The Day After

Mother's Day was actually quite a normal day for me.  A normal day these days includes a few awkward moments, a few bouts of strong emotion and a few tears.  Other than that, I would actually say that thanks to the many caring, loving friends I have, I actually felt HAPPY yesterday.  I was blessed with cards, letters, gifts and even a flower pot of Gerber daisies.  :)  I went to Kara's 4 year-old son's birthday party and stayed busy all day.  I am so grateful that a day I was dreading could be filled with joy and love, and genuine laughter.

Thank you all for validating our son and allowing me to be his Mom. 

I tried to sit down and write earlier today, but I knew if I was going to be honest with myself, it would end up being a really dreary post.   I decided to wait a bit before bitterness took over my computer screen.  Yesterday's busy schedule seemed to have pushed Mother's Day to today.  It has been a bit of a 'post Mother's Day' bomb for me.  I can certainly say that I am even more thankful than usual to serve the One who is in control.  Today felt so out of control in every possible way, so to sit here and know He is in control has finally got my headache to ease up.  

I have a few friends who reminded me of His goodness today.  Thank you guys.  I feel incredibly selfish after all the LOVE I have received over the past few days to even be writing these words.

I have learned that it is easier to face emotions than to smother them though; they usually find their way out.  For any mom who is missing their child, Mother's Day, no matter how lovely and joyful in ways, still hurts.  Chet wrote me a letter yesterday about why he didn't want to wish me a "Happy Mother's Day" and I think it was beautiful and perfect.  He was mindful of the day and how joy can only be had because of our Savior.  Most probably feel the "Happy" in their Mother's Day comes from mothering their children.  To those of us without our children, happiness is a gift from God in a totally different way.  It almost takes a little work...

Overall, the Healer has made this past week beautiful for me.  I am blessed to call the most amazing mothers on earth my friends, and learn from them all daily.

I spent Friday with Tisha Shuffield, the person who became my "Mom" about 10 years ago.  I also spent the day with my sister and her family.  Charys is such an amazing Mommy, who I am simply overwhelmed to just watch interact with her two boys.  

My mailbox received some special deliveries this week:

The Hope Mommies painting took my breath away.  Erin, your heart reflects Him.  Thank you for such a priceless gift.  Every detail about this painting is perfect and I am so grateful to the very special friends who made it possible for me to receive one.  Read about what the painting represents here.  
 A friend I have never met in person, only through Baby Center, sent me a gift I will cherish forever. She spent countless hours getting to know my son {tears} through drawing him for me.  I stared at it for an hour and thought about how she captured the details I never want to forget.  Thank you Hannah P.  Beauty isn't even the word.

I sit here and think about the words of comfort so many friends have shared with me this week.  The Comforter used my sweet friends to show me how GREAT and MASSIVE His care is.  They proclaimed Philippians 2:1-4 to me.   

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  Philippians 2:1-4  


  1. What a beautiful drawing of Holden. It took my breath away! I think about you all the time but you were in my heart even more on mother's day. I wanted to thank you. I normally would have made this private however this is this only way I know to contact you. 6 months ago we moved into our new home. I met my neighbors and became close very fast with this one mother. She lost her baby girl at 5 months to sids and to make it worse she lost her on mother's day. Sunday was very hard for her as anyone can imagine even 2 years later. She told me that out of all the people she talks to about her daughter that she can tell that I love to hear about her. She told me how some people will act different around her or even strange and how she has never seen that in me. I thank you for that Sarah. You have taught me through your blog how it is better to just listen rather than trying to make it better. Thankyou for helping me help her. (((hugs))) Tia

  2. Tia, feel free to write me at Thank you for sharing this.