My heart is so heavy and I was in a total slump this afternoon/evening...
And I am exhausted.
I have met too many Hope Moms who are struggling, as they have lost their babies recently. I almost dread reading my email some days, because I know there are so many hurting families. But I am beyond thankful for the priceless support I have received from other moms on this journey. It just makes my heart break for them. Unless you know what it feels like to drive back from the hospital with an empty car seat, and miss your child more than anything, every day, even nearly 5 months later, it's impossible to understand. I know these families are feeling this.
Between training in Abilene and bunco this evening, I drove by the cemetery. I don't know why I chose to go there today, but I just felt like I needed a couple "calm" minutes to pray and think. Plus, I hadn't been there in a while. This is what I saw when I walked up:
Some precious person left flowers; not just any flowers, but hydrangeas. They are some of my very favorite flowers, and I don't know if the person who put them there knows that or not, but it was amazing to see them. Such love. Thank you whoever you are...for continuing to care for Holden and us. I hope you read this.
I am given reasons to smile...
We found out that the first four wells are completely finished and providing communities clean water already! Dr. Patrick had sent us photos of them, which we were super excited to see in our inboxes, but there was an issue with the program he uploaded them with going through to our emails. :( We are hoping dropbox.com will work from Uganda, and that we will have pictures by TOMORROW!! Can you believe it?! Five weeks and now we have photos! Of course, receiving photos is nothing compared to the thought of the thousands of people right now, drinking water that will help heal them. As I type, I pray they will come to the Healer through this.
As soon as they arrive, I will post a big blog with ALL of them! Thank you patient friends!!
I've been anxiously awaiting this day since we were shocked and humbled to learn of well #1 being funded. To date, we have 12 wells completely funded, with the 13th very close to being funded.
When God is for us, nothing can be against us.
Even on the toughest days, I realize my blessings far outweigh my problems.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-40
My post for this blog is on your last post..... I guess I am a little tried, too. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Sarah, this is beautiful. I'm not sure why so many of us have been struggling lately, but I am with you. I have many, many moments where my heart is just so heavy I can barely function, my arms ache and feel so heavy. But lately, I think I have gotten a little better at talking myself out of them - thinking of all the things I DO have. But there are still moments where nothing I do can get me out of that "hopeless" moment. I hope you are better today.
ReplyDeleteSigh.....the empty car seat comment. :( Even after we took it out of the car, I still saw emptiness in the spot where it was. I saw it "thrown" in storage under the stairs and it hurt. Someday we will have babies to put in those car seats, keep the hope.
13 wells!?! That's so incredible Sarah! I love that God makes beauty out of ashes... There is still hope to be found beneath the rubble. I'm praying for you today.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet gesture. The good Lord knew you needed that little touch of kindness to give you strength for the remainder of the day.
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