Sunday, January 2, 2011

1.1.11

The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"  And let the one who hears say, "Come!"  Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.  Revelation 22:17 (emphasis mine)

This past week has been such a whirlwind.  Hope, pain, hope, sadness, hope, exhaustion, hope.  More hope than pain.  I really intended to post on 1.1.11, but haven't had a chance to sit down and process my thoughts.

I have been so spacey lately, I am about to get checked out by a professional doctor (not really...but maybe I should).  The amount of sleep I've tallied this week is frighteningly low.  I don't like to think about it because it makes me tell myself I must have a headache or something.  I've felt really like a self-absorbed, terrible friend.  People may wonder if I am still alive.  I am...in case you are wondering. ;)

I just posted on the Holden Uganda blog.  Holden Uganda has literally exploded into the most perfect picture of beauty from ashes.  It has taken up more of my time than I realized it would, but in an awesome way!  I will gladly give up all sleep because of the joy and hope it brings me...and countless others!!

We celebrated Christmas, Holden's 4th month birthday in heaven, a year from the day we found out we were pregnant [and our life changed forever] on the 30th, PLUS New Year's this week.  That is a lot of emotions.  A lot of ups and downs.

I think we somewhat floated through this past month.  I was numb at times, and at other times I wished I was numb.

What a difference one year can make.  This day in 2010 I literally had already spent about 20 cumulative hours on babycenter.com, 3dpregnancy.com, thebump.com and every other baby website.  I was dreaming of names and imagining life with our baby.  We watched the Tech bowl game at the Johnson's home (with the Mebanes), and I was trying my best not to just burst with the news of our pregnancy.

I force myself to not think about a year ago...it hurts too much.  It was such an exciting time for us.

I have decided that 2011 will be a year of hope for our family.  Chet and I have prayed that and believe it.

As Paul said to the Corinthian church, I am filled with comfort.  I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation. (2 Corinthians 7:4b)


Praying that your 2011 is truly blessed.

3 comments:

  1. Numb - we all must be feeling it this season as I feel the same way. Well, it's been a mix of numb and sad. Bring on the joy 2011! I love the posts of hope. I wish you and Chet so much hope each and every day my friend.

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  2. I understand numb...I have lived it for many years, but in a different way than yours. Just don't keep your feelings locked inside. Talk to someone...don't be afraid to express those emotions. It's ok. Love you!

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  3. Sarah ~ Thank you for sharing Holden's sweet life. My heart breaks with yours. Believing with you that this year will be a year of hope. He is faithful.

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