The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let the one who hears say, "Come!" Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life. Revelation 22:17 (emphasis mine)
This past week has been such a whirlwind. Hope, pain, hope, sadness, hope, exhaustion, hope. More hope than pain. I really intended to post on 1.1.11, but haven't had a chance to sit down and process my thoughts.
I have been so spacey lately, I am about to get checked out by a professional doctor (not really...but maybe I should). The amount of sleep I've tallied this week is frighteningly low. I don't like to think about it because it makes me tell myself I must have a headache or something. I've felt really like a self-absorbed, terrible friend. People may wonder if I am still alive. I am...in case you are wondering. ;)
I just posted on the Holden Uganda blog. Holden Uganda has literally exploded into the most perfect picture of beauty from ashes. It has taken up more of my time than I realized it would, but in an awesome way! I will gladly give up all sleep because of the joy and hope it brings me...and countless others!!
We celebrated Christmas, Holden's 4th month birthday in heaven, a year from the day we found out we were pregnant [and our life changed forever] on the 30th, PLUS New Year's this week. That is a lot of emotions. A lot of ups and downs.
I think we somewhat floated through this past month. I was numb at times, and at other times I wished I was numb.
What a difference one year can make. This day in 2010 I literally had already spent about 20 cumulative hours on babycenter.com, 3dpregnancy.com, thebump.com and every other baby website. I was dreaming of names and imagining life with our baby. We watched the Tech bowl game at the Johnson's home (with the Mebanes), and I was trying my best not to just burst with the news of our pregnancy.
I force myself to not think about a year ago...it hurts too much. It was such an exciting time for us.
I have decided that 2011 will be a year of hope for our family. Chet and I have prayed that and believe it.
As Paul said to the Corinthian church, I am filled with comfort. I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation. (2 Corinthians 7:4b)
Praying that your 2011 is truly blessed.
Posts
Numb - we all must be feeling it this season as I feel the same way. Well, it's been a mix of numb and sad. Bring on the joy 2011! I love the posts of hope. I wish you and Chet so much hope each and every day my friend.
ReplyDeleteI understand numb...I have lived it for many years, but in a different way than yours. Just don't keep your feelings locked inside. Talk to someone...don't be afraid to express those emotions. It's ok. Love you!
ReplyDeleteSarah ~ Thank you for sharing Holden's sweet life. My heart breaks with yours. Believing with you that this year will be a year of hope. He is faithful.
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