This blog is a compilation of my random thoughts today. Apologies now. First off, I don't think anyone should ever train for a half-marathon, work full-time and start a non-profit foundation in the same month. I seriously wonder about Chet and me...how are we THIS busy with no kids at home? :/ I used to believe I was had time management down. I was mistaken.
Chet has double-lung pneumonia, and has been in bed for two days. We think this past month finally caught up to him. His bronchitis turned into pneumonia two days ago, plus he has a nasty stomach bug on top of pneumonia. All that means that my handsome Prince Charming had to make his very first trek to a doctor yesterday. We are praying his health comes back very soon. I am not used to him being like this...it makes me hurt for him. Even all those prescriptions don't seem to be working very quickly. :(
I have really been lax on my running. I used to not mind running in the dark, but due to some recent experiences, I have decided it is not very safe, even in Snyder, to run in the dark. I could only fit a single mile in before it was pitch dark today. (I know, I know, that will not be getting me to 13 any time soon!) I am disappointed with myself, and plan to figure something out...the problem for me is that it is dark at 4-5am and dark after 6pm when I am able to run...hmmm...any suggestions?
Today was my first day back at work. I have said it before, but I am so grateful for my job! Of course I wish the break was a little longer, but I am very glad I drove up to a job I love today.
Chet and I have decided to simplify some Holden Uganda information. Chet thought his wife's sanity was rare, dear and necessary, so he asked me to ask this:
We would prefer that ALL t-shirt, bracelet and well inquiries and orders be made through sarah@holdenuganda.org. I am so sorry if this sounds rude at all! It's not you...it's me. I had about 100 inquiries this week, through texts/two different emails/in person/facebook wall/facebook messages/etc., so I am having a difficult time keeping track. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! I can't tell you how much I LOVE hearing from ALL OF YOU! I just need it to be in one place so I don't miss anyone!
That being said, if you are sitting there thinking I am ignoring you, I promise I am not!! PLEASE email or call me and let me know that I haven't responded!
This evening I went grocery shopping. I was stressed out, had a few (okay 20) other things I would rather be doing, and just plain not in the mood. I actually used the words "loathe grocery shopping" on the phone with my sister. But then God, in His oh-so-wonderful way, reminded me of the blogs I had read just this morning from Chelsea. When I think about thousands of precious orphans scrounging for their food in a massive dump, I am slapped in the face with a new perspective. When I think that their very existence depends upon waste, I am slapped upside the head with a better outlook.
Right now I am feeling really blessed. I may think I am stressed or having a tough day, but in all honesty, I am abundantly blessed.
Remember that song you sang as a kid, "Trust and obey. Trust and obey....For there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey!" (I realize I may be a rather isolated case in this, and maybe you don't even know the song. Come to think of it, I am wondering if it is even a published song, or just something we sang?)
I thought about that song for the first time in years yesterday. I don't even know why it popped in my head. I was wrapping my mind around trust, and it came to me. It had a catchy tune as a kid, and I suppose I just sang it 'because'. Why did I sing it as a child? Really, probably because I was told to sing it. Because, at the time, there really was not a lot I could do but trust and obey.
I almost crave that blind childlike faith that believes all will end up happy and perfect in the world, if we simply trust and obey. But it is not so easy to sing that song as an adult who puts her trust in a God who gives and takes life; the God who took her only child.
I thought about the past four months. The times I have been the happiest are when I trust He has a bigger purpose and plan for our lives. When my faith waivers (and it does!), I am faced with insurmountable pain. When I trust, He replaces that pain with hope.
I have learned that our God does not make sense. He doesn't promise us to make sense. He just asks that we put our trust in Him.
Holden Uganda was built out of trusting and obeying. He opened the doors and we walked right through them. What joy we would have robbed ourselves of, if we had not been willing to trust and obey.
Tonight I sing, "Take my life and let it be. Consecrated Lord to Thee...."
The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in Him. Psalm 32:10b
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I agree with your first statement about starting all three in the same month, all while you're still in the beginning process of working through grief. Physical activity is good, but probably right now as a way of being part of a balanced life. As you move forward from your loss, there is a need to be refreshed and restored by God, and I'm learning @53 that has less to do with more activity, but more time letting God reach into me as I slow down a bit and quiet things in my life. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the quiet times have a way of bringing forth the things at the core of my life God wants to bring restoration to. I'll pray for you & Chet to have wisdom. God is obviously doing a good work through you, and that is an encouragement to others. May we serve the King as unto Him alone. Blessings and peace in the storm.
ReplyDeleteI know that when I was running, it was a bit of an outlet. Honestly, I think it also helps with depression. :) So...go for it girl. I only wish I could jump back on the running bandwagon too! :) Lol one of these days I will! :)
ReplyDeleteso, i just really enjoy hearing your heart. and know that as much as i can be, i'm carrying this with you. and will be running beside you!
ReplyDelete(and i do know that song - maybe that's a homeschool thing though...)
Sarah - I hadn't thought of this song in years but it is so perfect. I was also reminded of this verse this morning: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5,6)." It is my mantra today. :)
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time taking my own advice but my recommendation is to be good to yourself. The things that you do should be rewarding in some way and should not be a strain. Remember that your body is also grieving and you need to give it time to heal. It's ok to put something aside, even for just a little bit, if you feel it is becoming too much.
I am keeping you in my prayers! :)
"The times I have been the happiest are when I trust He has a bigger purpose and plan for our lives. When my faith waivers (and it does!), I am faced with insurmountable pain. When I trust, He replaces that pain with hope."
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to the above statement. Our pain and suffering may be from different sources, but I feel your hurt and I couldn't agree with you more. We must trust in Him in all things.
...trust and obey, one of my very favorite childhood church songs. i recall it often, because it is complete truth. thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDelete