Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Holden's Sunset

A dear friend of mine captured the sunset in Snyder on the evening we laid Holden to rest, just two Tuesdays ago.  She mentioned that she didn't edit or photoshop them, and that we could if we wanted to.  I don't think we could possibly edit God's glory like this.  What a gift from our Saviour. 
Please enjoy Holden's Sunset: 


I am in awe.  It is something like this that takes my breath away in love for my God.  Thank you so very much, Rebecca, for capturing our Creator's majesty on Holden's special day. 

Yesterday was a day that I really don't want to relive.  Ever.  I know days like that are to be expected, and will probably come for the rest of my life.  It can be more overwhelming than I can express...that every single thing in my life reminds me of a baby I am not holding in my arms.  Spending time off work, at my house, NOT with my sweet son, is something I really struggle with on a daily basis.  Good thing I serve a God so much mightier than I, because He lifts me up.  (2 Corinthians 12:29 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.)
Yesterday was a day I had to pray for His strength all day.  To be honest, the Spirit interceded on my behalf. (Romans 8:26-27 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.)  Being someone who is always very genuinely happy, such incredibly painful and sad emotions are something I am really learning to deal with. 

Words are so powerful, dear friends.  I'm learning and living that more and more every single day.  A simple encouter with encouraging, loving people can brighten my day.  On the flip side, being around negative people can turn my day dark pretty quickly.  In Satan's toolbox are thoughts of depression, doubt, bitterness and fear....I am amazed how much words can be tools for God or tools for Satan, especially during an emotional experience this great.  If you have had to tearfully pick out a head stone for your precious child's grave, if you have had empty arms and an empty crib in your home, if you have had every single memory flood you with "what would've been", if you ache every moment to kiss your baby's face...you can understand and feel the power of words.  Thank you to all of you who have been encouraging, uplifting and wonderful examples of faith in my life.  You are sacred to me. 

This song by Selah was what I woke up to this morning.  God's love and PEACE wrapped around me. 

The cruelest world
The coldest heart
The deepest wound
The endless dark
The lonely ache

...The burning tears
The bitter nights
The wasted years
Life breaks and falls apart

But we know these are
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed
For every choice that led to shame
And all the love that never came
For every vow that someone broke
And every lie that gave up hope
We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing

It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But you never know the miracle the Father has in store
Just watch and see
It will not be
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Places where grace is soon to be so amazing.  It may be unfulfilled.  It may be unrestored.  But you never know the miracle the Father has in store.  Just watch and see.  It will not be unredeemed.

3 comments:

  1. Sarah,

    The picutres are just beautiful. Thank you for being so open and sharing about what you and Chet are going through. Your honesty is just amazing.

    The empty arms is a very hard thing to go through. I know one of the darkest times in my life was the morning that we found out our twins had died and we had to have them surgically removed. There are no words to describe that feeling of not being able to take your baby home so I truly admire your strength through this.

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  2. i found that often people said the "wrong" thing just because they felt the urge to say something...they loved me enough to try...but somehow it was just all wrong. 2 corinthians 1:4 "who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." It is so true, only those that have left the hospital alone...buried their child...could understand. But I find strength in knowing that this path God has put me in, I get to share my story and help others whose hearts are broken as mine.

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  3. okay- i am commented here because it won't let me reply to your comment! I thought i commented on your blog about the game, but i guess i didn't. I saw you too and wanted to jump up and give you a big hug, but you looked like you were enjoying yourself and i didn't want to ruin your good moment. When people hugged me i would "combust". my e-mail is paigettu02@hotmail.com if you ever want to chat- would love to meet you if you are going to be at the game.

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