Monday, September 6, 2010

You Deliver Me

I've been listening to You Deliver Me by's filled with truth and hope. Our Saviour DOES and WILL deliver us!

Today has been the most physically exhausting and painful for me. I think my body is finally catching up with all of this past week. It's definitely been the most incredibly long week of our lives. I woke up yesterday for Sunday School completely disoriented with days. I think time has really been the craziest paradox throughout this journey. It feels like just an hour ago that I was feeling my baby's sweet and priceless movements; yet it feels like a year ago that we said our goodbyes. I cannot believe it's only been 9 days since we held our son. I feel like I've experienced a lifetime of missing him. I really pray for strength to deal with time and "normalcy" better. I've always been someone who was decently proud of myself for controlling my emotions and time management. I realize that is far from reality.

I do not know how people are able to live without Christ during tragedies. I do not realize how people live without Jesus' hope and promise of eternal life through something like this. I know for a fact I would not be here without His promises! We may not see Holden for years, but we WILL see him again!

Yesterday was the first Texas Tech football game of the season. As you know, Holden is a big Tech fan. We had planned on being with our son yesterday, watching his first game as a family. Well, Holden watched his first game from heaven, but I know he still had his Guns Up! :) This is a picture of him taken in March. He's been a Tech fan his whole life. My little guy has been filled with Tech stats from his Daddy for the past nine months...I'm sure he was heaven's own ESPN Game Day announcer. ;) Our sweet friends (and pastor), Reid and Jaci Johnson, took us to the game. At first I didn't think I would be able to handle it. I've not done too well doing normal things lately, but I really feel it was better than sitting alone in our living room watching it. We had a great time with them.... and we pulled off a win!! (It was sketchy during that last half...I think the Johnsons are wary of ever inviting us to a game again. lol) Thank you very much Johnsons! It really is a blessing to be surrounded by people who love us, especially at a time that was really emotional for both Chet and me.

We have a precious friend, Kasey Boatright, who made us a canvas of the letter I wrote to Holden. I was speechless when I opened the package this morning. What a gift it is! It is things like this that humble me every day. We'll have this letter with us, in such a beautiful format, forever now. Thank you Kasey.

Thank you all for continuing to lift us up in prayers! I know it has been a long time ago for most of you. But to us it is still so raw and life-changing. Your prayers carry us and deliver us.

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