6 Weeks

Our little Holden was born six weeks ago.  This would've been a big weekend for us, had Holden lived on earth.  At 6 weeks, I would have been deciding if I wanted to go back to work or stay home a little longer.  I can say that I would have certainly, without a doubt, decided to take the full twelve weeks off, after meeting someone I love with indescribable love.  

Saturday I woke up with the thought that I can't believe I actually contemplated being able to go back to work after six weeks!  But then I wondered if I would have appreciated every single moment as much as I would now?  My sweet little boy has really made me appreciate every aspect of life so much more. 

Tonight I can't even muster up the words to say all I'm thinking.  I miss my baby so, so very much.

Don't tell me "things happen for a reason."

Don't tell me to "keep busy" and "move on."

Don't tell me that you "know exactly how I feel."

Don't tell me that it was "too hard" for YOU to talk to ME about the death of MY baby boy.

Don't tell me that YOU feel "uncomfortable"looking at his picture or calling me on his birthday."

Don't ask me about other children.

Don't SAY anything to try to make me feel better.

Hug me.

Listen to me.

Sit quietly with me.

Let me cry.

Smile when you look at his picture.

Help me plant a tree in his memory.

Allow me to sit in the rocking chair in the nursery.

Light a candle.

Release a balloon.

Walk with me on my journey.

Remember him forever.

~author unknown